Lightness

This past weekend, at a bridal shower for a neighbour’s daughter, I found myself seated at a table with 6 women I’d never met, all moms. They all knew each other...click Read More

Lightness
​Only when I was able to cry and laugh with others who didn’t have children to talk about was I finally able to laugh again fully with those who do…
This past weekend, at a bridal shower for a neighbour’s daughter, I found myself seated at a table with 6 women I’d never met, all moms. They all knew each other.  They shared stories about their moms-and-children trips together. There were also many laughs about non-parenting memories and topics too. The women were very friendly, and I felt fairly included and comfortable enough.
At one point, one woman asked us all, “Who has grandchildren?” She then expressed that she doesn’t because her son and his partner don’t want children. With this, my internal cue started signalling ‘washroom time-out’; and I excused myself for awhile…
The first book I read on the experience of involuntary childlessness was Silent Sorority​ by Pamela Mahoney Tsigninos. I read it in less than a day. Reading this book felt like an awakening and marks when I first realized I wasn’t alone. Not alone with the profound sadness and isolation being felt while struggling to accept that I would never be a mom. And not alone in taking washroom time-outs when surrounded by parenting-focused conversations. I read this book in the autumn of 2015, and, clearly, I continue to make the most of such time-outs when the need arises.
In that same autumn, I came across Jody Day's Gateway Women website and ordered her book, Living the Life Unexpected. In the years that followed, Jody and her work, including her Reignite Weekend Workshop, helped me move through heavy grief and feel fully engaged in female group conversations again. Through my GW connection, I’ve made many friendships that are and will always be precious to me.
While seated at the table of moms I didn’t know, thoughts of my precious friends without children carried me through. Their understanding and support is ever present.